Long ago, before you, I or grampa PLA was born or hatched, Portland was a pristine land, full of beauty and environmental harmony. Then Portland began growing. And along with Portland came liberal, CRAZY ideas about forcing a specific portion of the population drive bicycles, eat raw nuts and organic kale. Those that resisted initially were banished to the dark lands of Gresham, or put in the dangerous Granola farms of Hillsboro. We are here to regain what is ours!

 

 

The Seattlian hoards began massing on our borders and sending parties of grunge-lords into our towns and hamlets, looting our coffers and raping our women and livestock, creating mutant babies that eventually grew up to form APST. Eventually a scandal broke out in which the Seattlian warlord was found to be a cyborg, and subsequently forced to commit Seppuku.Without their glorious cyborg-dinosaur leader, the Seattlians fled back into the mucky-muck mudman caves surrounding Ichiro castle. But before they left, they removed our previous leadership council which comprised of Grampa PLA, Samuel L. Jackson, some guy that wears skinny jeans and eats vegan food, and a 6'4" tranny named Manita St. Croix.

 

 

But unlike the mud-people hoardes of Seattle, the loss of our great leaders only enfuriated us further, causing rebel groups to spring up across Oregon, such as the feared Desert Rats (DRAT), the militant exchange-student club, the 5th Royal Air Commandos (RAC5), and the Portland Liberation Army: PLA. Rallying behind pictures of our martyred leader Grampa PLA, the legendary insurgency began. Across the state, you can hear our freedom fighters, screaming out, in a blubbering rage, VIVA LA P.L.A. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!